frustrated-fallen-angel:

gallifreyanprincess:

insanitymobs:

asktheminecrafthuntress:

ykfinch:

ask-shadefire-midnight-and-elsa:

askdiamonddust:

funnyandhilarious:

New type of airplane… »

Oh hell nah!

My dad would be terrified

I would want the aisle seat.

Imagine it’s a late night flight, and everyone’s dozing off. In your half-asleep stupor you look down at the floor and you see a face gazing in at you through the glass, a face of something not quite human..

welcome to Tumblr, where the most interesting topics twist into nightmares.

how cool

frustrated-fallen-angel:

gallifreyanprincess:

insanitymobs:

asktheminecrafthuntress:

ykfinch:

ask-shadefire-midnight-and-elsa:

askdiamonddust:

funnyandhilarious:

New type of airplane… »

Oh hell nah!

My dad would be terrified

I would want the aisle seat.

Imagine it’s a late night flight, and everyone’s dozing off. In your half-asleep stupor you look down at the floor and you see a face gazing in at you through the glass, a face of something not quite human..

welcome to Tumblr, where the most interesting topics twist into nightmares.

how cool

(via williamsherlockscottcarstairs)

shervinfoto:

I wonder if beyonce has a booking agent or just wakes up fully dressed and says ‘I will sing tonight’ to a terrified assistant

(via draconisniffler)

journey-with-you-512:

your wife is amazing

journey-with-you-512:

your wife is amazing

(via draconisniffler)

ronnies-corner:

breadmaakesyoufat:

starfreezer:

Georges son calls from Hogwarts on the first day of school terrified and keeps asking if George is okay, he reassures him that everything is alright but asks why he would ask that. Georges son explains that he thought he had died because he could have sworn he had seen a ghost that looked just like him joking around with the older students

STOP DIS RIGHT NOW

first of all, fuck you

(via draconisniffler)

iamnerdtastic:

No matter how much I eat, there’s always room for dessert.

Dessert doesn’t go to the stomach.

Dessert goes to the heart.

(via williamsherlockscottcarstairs)

elflizard:

Best $1.85 I have ever spent.

(via draconisniffler)

hunterdetectivetimelord:

imclueingforlookss:

Friend: Wow, where did you learn so much about history?
Me: image
Friend: Wow, where did you learn so much about religion?
Me:
image
Friend: Wow, where did you learn so much about psychology?
Me: image

Friend: Wow, where did you learn to cook?
Me:
 image

One of these is a lot more disturbing than the others

(via draconisniffler)

hotsundayschoolteacher:

earthdad:

Girls need to stop wearing crop tops or I might have to resort to action by tickling them and blowing on their tummies bc they’re so darn cute

this post ended well

(via secretlymartinfreeman)

boite-de-rhythm:

poyzn:

#11 was done on The Office to Dwight.

shit son

#9 goes hard

(via secretlymartinfreeman)

startrekmademequeer:

[ding dong, ding dong]

Hello, sir and/or madam! Have you heard the good news?

image

(via secretlymartinfreeman)

queermarauders:

Ravenclaws with huge communal bookshelfs that tower to the ceiling. It’s become tradition that when you leave Hogwarts, you leave behind a copy of your favorite book, so they have books dating back centuries.

(via draconisniffler)

a-celebration-throughout-oz:

just so you guys are aware the first word said in wicked is “good” and the last word said is “wicked”

(via secretlymartinfreeman)

bunny-banana:

handaxe:

handaxe:

What’s the difference between america and yogurt?

If u leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop a culture

this was like the sickest burn I’ve ever seen

(via secretlymartinfreeman)

drinkmasturbatecry:

nudityandnerdery:

the-fandoms-are-valentines:

grandtheftautosanandreas:

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

And, of course: "The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t."

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

drinkmasturbatecry:

nudityandnerdery:

the-fandoms-are-valentines:

grandtheftautosanandreas:

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay

He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”

"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”

"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”

"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”

"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

And, of course:

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t."

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

(via secretlymartinfreeman)

queerbriel:

welcome to womens clothing where the sizes are made up and the measurements don’t matter

(via secretlymartinfreeman)